Yesterday was a day of incredible joy, and incredible sadness. Sadness because in the morning, I found out about the Oklahoma tornado that hit on Monday. I don’t really keep up with the news because it’s usually so depressing, but I finally heard the story through a few blogs that I follow. When I read that 24 people died in the storm, including 10 children, my mind went into lockdown. The walls went up, and I closed out any emotions that I might have otherwise felt. It was just too much. I could not let myself feel it.

I was also in full prayer-warrior mode, since Cory had just left for his job interview, and I was trying to keep my focus on God and my plea for a successful interview. As terrible as it may sound, I felt that I needed to focus on that before I could begin to process and mourn for what happened in Oklahoma.

After Cory got home from his interview, he told me that they said they would call him this weekend or next week. So we waited. We went on with our day, relieved that the interview was over but still anxious to hear back from them about the job. Fortunately, the wait was not as long as we thought it would be, and he received a phone call a few hours later. They offered him the job!

This job is what we have been hoping and praying for for months. For it to finally become a reality was so overwhelming, relieving, and emotional. It’s still not completely sinking in for us, but I’m sure it will feel more real when he actually starts next week. The anxious feeling is still hanging around, because he’s not done working out the final details of his salary and he won’t sign the employment contract until Tuesday. Until it’s official, I don’t think either of us will be able to fully relax or celebrate.

We are so happy, though, because we know that God heard us, and moved on our behalf, and that is such an amazing feeling. I feel confident that everything will go smoothly, and the job will be completely secured very soon. This final step is just one more test of our trust in God. He got us this far, and I have no doubt that He will give us what we need. God is so good!

Today, in the middle of my joy, I came across yet another blog post about the Oklahoma tornado. This time, I let myself read more and feel more. And it started to make me think, how can I be happy about a job when I know that 10 children just died in a terrifying storm? Two babies were among them. One toddler. Seven 8 and 9 year olds. It’s unthinkable. How can we live in a world where this happens, let alone be happy in it?

Yet my last sentence from the paragraph above still stands. God is good. The world is not good, not anymore. But God is. God feels this pain more than I do, more than any of us do. He feels it more than the parents who lost their children and the people who lost their family members and friends. He feels it in a way that we can’t even begin to feel or understand or describe.

He doesn’t want this ugly, painful, tragic world for us. He wants our lives to be full of beauty, joy, and perfection. That’s why He gave up His only son and let Him die in this broken place, so that we could have something better. And those precious children who died are with Him now, in that place of perfection. I know that for the victims of this tragedy, there are no words that will bring comfort. It is a pain beyond words. But God is there, too. He’s with them, feeling their pain and feeling more.

Today, I will cry for the devastation of people and lives in Oklahoma. I will pray for supernatural comfort for those who are suffering unimaginable losses. And then, I will let myself be happy again and continue to live my life with joy. Because as ugly as things may get here in this world, there is still so much beauty to be found. I will praise the Lord for that.