I recently caught a new, severe strain of baby fever and have been battling this powerful virus for the past few weeks. Some of my symptoms have included researching baby names late into the night, “accidentally” walking through the baby section at target, and stuffing my shirt with a blanket to see what I would look like pregnant. Not to worry though, the prognosis is good; I know that I can fight it and I will soon be back to good health.

😉

All jokes aside though, I really do have baby fever. The fact that I’ve been struggling with insomnia for the past month or so hasn’t helped things. I’ve spent many nights lately just laying in bed thinking about babies, and all of that thinking has not done much to help matters. But don’t worry, friends and family members who are reading this; Cory and I are not planning on having children any time soon. We’re not ready for that yet, financially, and our sense of responsibility is strong enough to override any wishes that we may have for starting a family right now.

Still, I’ve been doing some research about baby-related matters and last night, I started to look into the debate about the “right number of kids.” My husband and I are considering having up to six kids, two of which would be adopted, and I was curious about what other people think about large families like that.

There are many passionate arguments for and against having so many children. Many people believe that having any more than two children is wrong because of the environmental costs. They argue that the world is already overpopulated and that having more than two to “replace you” would be irresponsible. Some even argue that having more than one is wrong, and having none is preferable, because we need to reduce the population. While most of these people are not basing their opinions on God or the Bible, there are actually many Christians who believe that our duty to protect and care for the planet requires us to limit the number of children that we have to a maximum of three (and many believe that one or two is better).

On the other side of the coin, there are those who argue that people should have as many children as they want to and can handle. Christians, in particular, often have some wild opinions about the matter. For example, many Christians argue that God commanded us to “be fruitful and multiply,” which they feel means that we have a duty to have as many children as possible. Some even believe that we should continue having kids even when we cannot provide for them financially, because it forces us to rely on God to provide. And of course, there is the belief that not having children is a selfish and sinful act, and that having as many children as possible is the most selfless thing a person can do with his/her life.

I rarely believe that any extreme stance on an issue is the best approach, so neither of these camps really felt right with me. As a Christian, I want to base every decision that I make on what God thinks. Part of how I figure out what God thinks is by figuring out what other Christians think, because the Bible doesn’t always spell out everything in black and white. Unfortunately, we are all flawed people and it isn’t always easy to tell what God thinks by looking at what people think. Often, this approach will lead to a less Godly decision than if we’d just tried to make it on our own in the first place!

So what is the right number of kids to have, and how can we make that decision based on what God wants for us? I don’t necessarily know the answer to this question any more than anybody else does. But, I do have an opinion based on my understanding of the Bible.

God’s greatest commandment to his followers is to love Him and to love others. Having children can certainly teach us to love Him more because it gives us a better understanding of His love for us! When you have a child, your understanding of unconditional love grows. That’s the kind of love that God has for us, except infinitely more! On top of that, having children can improve our ability to love others. Raising children requires sacrifice, patience, and many other Godly character traits, and it can refine these character traits in us as well. So yes, I believe that having children can be a tool for God to teach us how to love Him and others better.

God also commands us to take care of the planet that He created. We are responsible for protecting our resources, and God never intended for us to abuse them. But how does having children fit into this picture? I think the key is to focus on intention, not legalism. Having three children or more may negatively affect the planet, but so can pretty much everything else we do. It’s kind of like arguing that we shouldn’t do homework because using paper kills trees.

The fact of the matter is that we cannot control every consequence of every decision that we make; sometimes bad things happen as a result of good decisions that we make, but that doesn’t change the fact that the decision was good. The same idea can be applied to having children; as long as we raise our children in a way that teaches them to care for the planet to the best of their abilities, I don’t believe that having many children is wrong for environmental reasons. Children are a gift from God and created by God, and I don’t believe for a second that He would ever regret creating a child because he or she added to global warming. On that note, though, we absolutely do have a responsibility as parents to teach our kids the value of our planet. Christians especially have a God-given calling to work together to protect it and all of the people on it to the best of our abilities.

Different numbers of children are right for different people. There is no “right number” of children to have. Some people are called to raise many children, and some are called to raise none. All that matters, really, is that we strive to love God and others, and whether children are a part of that story for us or not is up to us. I honestly think that sometimes, God really doesn’t have a preference in what we do as long as our intentions are pure.

My husband and I feel called to have children, but only God knows how many we will end up with. We might have one baby and realize that we’re fine with just one! Or, we might continue to grow our family and end up with many more. Right now, we really want to have two boys and two girls, and we think that if after having four biologically we don’t have that mix, then we would like to adopt. Of course, we won’t know for sure until we get there. Either way, I know that my husband and I are excited to be parents one day, and I’m looking forward to that awesome adventure ahead of us.