For Thanksgiving this year, I was able to enjoy a delicious meal with my family. My husband and I drove out to Orange County and stayed with my dad and my stepmom Kim. On Thursday, my aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandparents came over and we spent the day cooking and enjoying one another’s company. It was a great time together!

I enjoy Thanksgiving so much not only because of the time I get to spend with family and the delicious food, but because it is a time to take a step back and reflect on all of the things that I have to be thankful for. God has blessed me with so much. I have an amazing husband and a deeply fulfilling marriage. I have a wonderful family including three parents who love me, two brothers who I can share life with, and many aunts, uncles, and grandparents who make my family the colorful, fun, and loving group of people that it is. I have my best friends, Taylor and Halston, and so many other close friends to fill my life with joy. I have the best pets in the world, Marley, Booda, Rocky, and Nilly.

Besides all of those things, I am blessed to have all of my needs taken care of. I have a comfortable place to live, plenty of clothes, and I’ve never gone hungry. I have luxuries that so many people in the world don’t even think to wish for. I am in good health and have a body that works the way that it should. Overall, I am extraordinarily lucky to have the life that I do. As easy as it is to take all of that for granted, I try to remember each day to be thankful for what I have. Although many people have less or more than I do, I believe that everybody can find something to be thankful for. Thanksgiving is an extra special day to take some time out to think about all that we have, no matter how little or how much that may be. Of course, for those of us that have a lot, I also think that Thanksgiving is a good reminder for us to give to others who don’t.

I feel saddened by some of the attitudes that people have adopted towards Thanksgiving. It seems that more and more people are beginning to see it as a day to indulge, instead of as a day to give thanks. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a good meal, but I believe that the food is just a bonus, a way of celebrating all of the things that we have in life. More concerning to me is the growing Thanksgiving tradition of commercial indulgence. This year, many stores started their Black Friday sales on Thursday, and even before this latest trend there has traditionally been a huge emphasis on the goal of buying things immediately after Thanksgiving. I, for one, truly do not understand this. It’s as if Thanksgiving is seen as a day to give thanks for all that we have, right before we go out and acquire more things just for the sake of it. It has become the holiday of commercialism.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think that there is anything wrong with taking advantage of a Black Friday sale to buy something that you already were planning on buying or that you “need.” But what I have seen way too much of lately is people planning on going Black Friday shopping just to see what they can find. Why not spend that money and time on something more important, like helping those in need? There is an abundance of worthy causes in our broken world that need financial support and volunteers. When people have so much money and time that they can go searching for ways to use it up, I believe that they have a responsibility to start giving something back. More than a responsibility, though, giving to others in need is a gift. It is a surefire way to find joy and fulfillment, because humans helping other humans is one of the most beautiful acts that we are capable of.

I didn’t want to write this post as a judgment to people. The truth is, we are all guilty of this greedy and selfish attitude to some degree. Who am I to say when somebody has taken it too far? All I know for sure is that Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, not greedy, and that we should all strive to live that way every other day of the year as well. Nobody is perfect, but we can and should all strive to be less focused on ourselves.

What it all comes down to for me is people. When I look at the world from God’s point of view (or at least as close to His point of view as I can get), I see people. I remember that God created every human being with love and care, and that He treasures each one of us beyond what we can know. That applies to the friendly cashier at the grocery store, the annoying little kid who’s screaming in the mall, the rude man in the fancy car who just cut you off, the woman who was trampled to death at Wal-Mart on Black Friday four years ago, and all of the people who let their greed take over enough to run her down. It applies to every single person that you casually pass by every day. And sometimes, or in my case at least, quite often, we forget that. We forget that people are the most important thing in this world. We arrange our priorities so that money, work, school, achievement, power, our hopes and dreams, and our opinions come first. Perhaps because of the sheer number of us, people become common and unimportant. That, I can’t help but feel, is a sheer tragedy.

Thanksgiving is a reminder to me to reevaluate my priorities. It is a reminder to be thankful for what I have, but also to be humbled by what others lack. It is a reminder to me that, when it all comes down to it, greed is the reason that our world is as broken as it is. And it is a powerful reminder that I need to strive every single day against my greedy and selfish nature, because if I don’t, then I am throwing everything that God has blessed me with back in His face by ignoring the most important thing that he cares about; people. When I think about it that way, I feel most thankful for the one thing that I have that I truly need, the one thing that nobody can take away—Jesus. Because of Jesus, I don’t have to feel guilty for my failures. Because of Jesus, I can push forward towards a more Godly version of me, the version who is selfless and generous and who makes the world a better place. And that is truly something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers, and I hope that we can all strive to be both thankful and generous during this holiday season. Even better, I hope that we can all strive to be that way every day.

In Philip Yancey’s book, Prayer, he mentions the idea that prayer is a lot like sex. (I bet I’ve got your attention now!) I can’t help but agree.

Think about it— in the movies, on TV, in books, and in songs, sex sounds amazing. Not only is it always fun and exciting, but it is also easy and satisfying. For some people in real life, this is a reflection of reality. For most people, though, sex is much more complicated and often less wonderful. I hope that the majority of people have experienced or will one day experience God’s intended plan for sex— sex in a committed and loving relationship that is intimate, connective, satisfying, and fun. But even if this is the case, I feel fairly certain that sex isn’t like that the majority of the time for the majority of people.

Prayer is the same way. When people in movies, on television, in books and in songs pray, they are eloquent or beautifully simple. Their prayers are meaningful and deep. And in the end, prayer leaves them feeling deeply fulfilled or at least leads them to some great discovery. In real life, though, prayer isn’t always like that. Prayer can feel monotonous, empty, useless, enraging, disappointing, and ridiculous at times. Prayer may have the potential to be wonderful, but the daily reality for many people falls short.

I hope that in some small way, God can use me to change that. Even if just one person reads this and learns something from it that improves their prayer life, I will be satisfied. Because the truth is, prayer is a gift from God (just like sex!) and learning how to do it may be the most important thing that a person can do.

So what is the right way to pray? There is no right way! Instead, I am convinced that prayer was designed to be diverse, a reflection of the people doing it. God created each person to be unique, so why should prayer styles be any different? The way I see it, there are only two requirements for prayer— authenticity and presence. No matter how you pray, it should be honest and you should bring your whole self. The fact is, God knows, sees, and understands everything about you whether you acknowledge it or not. Prayer is all about relationship and intimacy with God, and being yourself is a key ingredient to finding fulfillment through it.

There are so many different ways to pray, and they are all the right way. Many people pray in a fairly traditional style; they sit or kneel, bow their heads, close their eyes, and talk to God. There are a vast number of alterations just to this style of prayer alone! Some people stand, some lay down, some bow with their faces to the ground. Some speak aloud, some whisper, and some think the words in their heads. There are many styles of prayer beyond these, though. For some people, prayer is best done on their drive to work, on a daily hike through nature, or as they fold the laundry. Some people journal; others sing. For some people, prayer doesn’t even involve words— they prefer to sit quietly and just bask in the presence of God, perhaps letting thoughts flow freely from their mind to God’s without ever articulating them. All of these are perfectly valid ways to pray, and they are beautiful to God.

Finding a way to pray that suits you is a wonderful way to honor the unique personality that God gave you. He loves you for exactly who you are, and He designed you to pray as yourself, not somebody else. I strongly encourage you to find a way to pray that suits you! However you feel you can be connected to God, both mentally present and authentic, is a great way to go. Prayer is meant to be a spiritual, mental, emotional, and relational retreat into a special place with God, and that can happen anywhere and anyway that it works for you.

I encourage exploration for anybody who is seeking a more fulfilling prayer life. Formulaic prayers from the Bible can be the most satisfying way for some people to pray. The Lord’s Prayer, the Psalms, prayers from Biblical figures, and prayers from Jesus Himself can all be helpful examples. Some people may prefer to meditate on the words of these prayers from the Bible, or perhaps follow their formulas to create similar prayers in their own words. These methods can be helpful for new believers who are just learning how to pray and for any people who want to explore different styles of prayer. They can also be useful during times when prayer or connecting with God becomes more difficult— sometimes called “seasons of spiritual dryness.” Some people may even find that formulaic or classical Biblical prayers are their preferred method of praying all of the time, and that is perfectly fine too.

It is important to know that as life experiences change, so do we. Likewise, our most effective ways of praying can change throughout life. For me, prayer was once best accomplished through journaling and writing my prayers to God like letters. At another point in my life, I felt more connected to God when I sat by myself and listened to worship music, reflecting on the lyrics and finding peace in God’s presence. Now, I have found that the most effective way of praying for me is to write a simple list of requests and another list of things that I am thankful for, and then sit quietly with my eyes closed and focus on connecting with God. As my life changes, I am sure that my favorite style of praying will change too. It can be helpful to periodically reassess your spiritual health to determine how well you are connecting with God and if necessary, make positive changes.

Sometimes, even when we have found our most optimal way of praying, problems can creep into our prayer lives to mess things up. Feeling unworthy, feeling like you’re “doing it wrong,” and dealing with distractions are some common problems, but I think that there is a simple way to handle them; relax. God hears all prayers, no matter how unworthy you feel or how badly executed you think they are. There is no need to over think the process of prayer— it’s as simple as being yourself in front of God. If you feel unworthy, then tell Him. Remember that nobody is worthy of God’s love, but that He gives it freely anyway. If you were worthy, then you wouldn’t need Him and you wouldn’t be praying in the first place.

If you get distracted easily, then you can try to eliminate as many of the distractions as possible. Silence your cell phone, jot down extraneous thoughts that come to mind if you don’t want to forget them, ask your spouse to watch the kids and then retreat into your bedroom and lock the door if necessary. Some distractions can be turned into prayers; for instance, if you can’t stop thinking about some problem at work then why not pray about it? God wants to know what is on your mind, and when you pray for things that are on your mind then you will likely feel much less distracted. Praying for things that you think you should pray for is silly anyway, because God knows when your heart isn’t in it.

The last piece of advice that I’d like to give you is to never give up. Everybody feels discouraged and empty at times, especially in their relationships with God. Prayer is a discipline, and learning to do it consistently even when you don’t feel like it is analogous to exercise. The more you work out, the fitter you will become, and the easier exercising will be. Don’t neglect to exercise your spiritual muscles! I believe that prayer becomes more fulfilling the more you do it. Even on your worst days when you have no words to say to God, you can rest assured that if you show up in prayer and bare your soul to Him, then He will hear you. The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit prays on our behalf when we cannot pray for ourselves, and if we can have the faith to just “show up,” as Yancey puts it, then that brings us one step closer to pulling through to the other side.

Prayer is the heart of a relationship with God. I hope that this series has been helpful and that you never stop growing on your journey with the Lord!

“Prayer invites us to rest in the fact that God is in control, and the world’s problems are ultimately God’s, not ours. If I spend enough time with God, I will inevitably begin to look at the world with a point of view that more resembles God’s own. What is faith, after all, but believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse?”

From Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? By Philip Yancey

For the last two weeks, I have been M.I.A. because I’ve been so busy with school! This week hasn’t been any better, and I predict that I will probably be this busy for the rest of the semester. Fortunately, I’m beginning to adapt to the workload and I hopefully will be able to keep up with my blog now. =]

This week, I am continuing my series on prayer. I’ve been reading the book Prayer by Philip Yancey and finished reading through the second part today. My thoughts on prayer are still not crystal clear– in fact, they are still quite jumbled. I think part of the reason is that I am the kind of person who wants complete, irrefutable answers to all of my questions… and unfortunately, my current human condition doesn’t allow me to get them. I have to accept that I will never be able to know or understand certain things completely while I’m here on this planet. I’m sure that God has His reasons for this, but I think an even bigger reason that I’m often left in the dark is that I simply cannot understand things the way God does. My human brain is limited. Don’t get me wrong, it can do amazing things! But compared to God, I may as well be blind, deaf, mute, and paralyzed. And while saying that we simply can’t understand all of the mysteries of life may seem like a cop-out to some people (and in a way I agree), that doesn’t mean that it’s not the truth.

My point with all of that is that I cannot pretend that I have all of the answers. I can’t even pretend that all of the answers are out there, just waiting for us to find. Instead, I can only share my own limited, humble understanding. I can share my own reasons for praying, even when I have doubts, and I can share the revelations that I have discovered from reading the words of wise followers of Christ. That is what I intend to do, and I hope that in doing so I can bring answers to some of your questions, too.

Last week, I focused on the aspect of prayer as a key tool in our personal relationships with God. How can we have a relationship with someone if we never talk to them, after all? Not only is prayer a way that we draw close to God and maintain our relationship with Him, but I also believe that the act of prayer changes and affects us in ways that help us to grow spiritually. Through prayer, we learn to rely on God. We humble ourselves so that we can be lifted up by our Father.

This week, I want to focus on what prayer does. Does prayer change God? Is it effective? Or is it just an exercise that’s meant to change us? Should we even bother to ask God for things?

I found my answer to this particular question in Jesus. As simple as it sounds, one good reason to pray is that Jesus did. When I have doubts about my faith, the one thing (I should say person) that I fall back on is Jesus. That’s because Jesus is the material, physical, literal manifestation of God. Jesus was. And because of that, Jesus is the foundation that I build the rest of my beliefs on; He’s the one thing that I can trust without trying.

Jesus is my model for living, and Jesus prayed! Not only did He pray, but he asked God for things. The Son of God prayed for things that the Father already knew about, cared about, and wanted. Even more bewildering, He prayed for things that were not granted to Him. That’s right! Jesus had unanswered prayers.

This is very comforting to me. First, I find it comforting that Jesus prayed to His Father and that He asked Him for things. Yes, most of the things that He asked for were pretty darn selfless– He was perfect, after all. But at times, or at least one time that I know of, Jesus asked God for something that would only benefit Him, that would in fact be a detriment to everybody else in the world. He asked for God to spare Him from His fate. He was afraid of what was going to happen to Him on the cross, and He asked for a reprieve! It is important to note that after wrestling with His fear and dread in prayer, He eventually surrendered to God’s greater will, which was for Him to die. But for a few moments there, Jesus asked for something just for Himself.

In our prayer lives, as imperfect humans, we very often ask for things for ourselves. Jesus may have only done it a few times, but we (or at least I) do it all the time. I pray for the problems in my life to be solved and I ask for things for my friends and family. My prayers aren’t usually for things like world peace. Instead, they are focused internally on myself and my own life. But I actually think that that’s okay! Prayer is supposed to be honest, and when I pray for the things that are weighing on my heart, I am sharing myself with God. That’s what He really wants anyway.

So Jesus proves that prayer is important and useful, and that we can and should pray to ask God for things. He also shows me that sometimes, God doesn’t give us what we ask for. He didn’t even give Jesus everything that He asked for, which is mind-boggling considering that Jesus was God. If you think about it, this means that God asked Himself for things that He did not grant Himself. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe, but maybe not.

You see, I’m starting to think that Jesus praying to His Father was like God talking to Himself, even reasoning with Himself. It’s something that I do on many occasions and I don’t find it strange, so why should it be strange when God does it? One of the fascinating traits of the Trinity is that each part– God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit– represents a part of who God is. God the Father is often seen as the part who most values justice, and Jesus is seen as the part who most values love and mercy. Could it be that when Jesus prayed to His Father, He was petitioning the just part of His personality to show mercy and love? Since the Father and Jesus are both the same God, it wouldn’t be God changing if He decided to go with mercy and love based on Jesus’ petition. It would just be Him responding to a prayer in a way that is consistent His own nature.

Based on that model, I believe that prayer can and does affect how God intercedes in our world. When we pray, we are participating in a partnership with God. He makes the final decisions, but only after considering the input from His valuable partners. No, we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes, God chooses not to intercede because He has something better in mind for us. Sometimes, I think He might choose not to intercede simply because He’d rather respect our collective freedom to make choices and live with the consequences.

As harsh as that may sound, I believe that it is a decision He makes out of love. As Philip Yancey wrote in his book, “The Bible draws a strong contrast between the freedom-crushing style of evil and the freedom-respecting style of good… Even when he senses his close friend will betray him, Jesus does not intervene with a freedom-crushing miracle.” Miracles are just that– rare, unexpected, gifts that change things from the way that they logically should have been. But when God performing a miracle means taking away somebody else’s freedom to make a choice, even a bad one, and deal with the consequences, then it becomes contrary to his character. God respects freedom even when the result is a broken planet full of broken people.

The key here is that respect doesn’t mean accept. God respects our freedom, but He does not quietly accept the mess that we’ve created with it. He mourns for every pain that every person goes through. He does more than mourn, though; God sees our suffering and takes action. He took action when He sent Jesus to die for us, providing a way for us to escape from the meaningless suffering that we experience here on earth. He freed us from our mess. Circling back around, this is the very reason that we can pray in the first place. Jesus made a bridge between us and God, interceding in the biggest way possible. We enjoy the freedom that He gave us by sharing a meaningful relationship with God.

I believe that prayer is important not only because of what it does to us and our relationship with God, but because it actually works. I still don’t believe that God is a genie who grants all of our wishes, but I do believe that He listens to our prayers and responds according to His nature. Sometimes, that even means that we get what we want. And it always leads us to experience things that God will in one way or another use for the good, so long as we let Him.

This week, I haven’t really had the time, energy, or motivation to spend a lot of time thinking about prayer or reading the book about it that I mentioned last week. In fact, I just finished reading the first part of the book this morning, and I’m still digesting it. My journey towards understanding prayer still has a long way to go, but for now I’ll just share what I learned this morning.

Prayer is all about relationship. Simply put, God wants a personal relationship with us and conversation is vital to relationships. Praying is just the way that we converse with God. The difference is that a relationship with God is unlike any other relationship a human can know. Things just don’t work the same as they do in human relationships.

For one thing, human relationships are at least to some degree comprised of equals. Sure, in many cases one person is more dominant or authoritative in the relationship than the other, but in the grand scheme of things, both people are still just people. In the case of a relationship with God, though, we are hilariously unequal. He is God, the one who created the Universe and has control over everything in it. We are tiny little humans at the mercy of our environment, easily breakable and gone in the blink of an eye. This is no relationship of equals.

The amazing thing is that God still wants to have a close relationship with each one of us. In fact, He knows us more intimately than we can imagine, and sees who we are in the midst of everyone and everything else around us. It’s easy to say those words and even understand them on a surface level, but truly believing them and grasping the gravity of them is an incredible thing. It’s just plain crazy that God would know and love each of us as individuals!

When we approach God in prayer, we come face to face with a being who is infinitely greater than us, yet sees us as His friends. It is both humbling and simultaneously uplifting. And I am starting to understand that that may be one of the most basic purposes of prayer; to be humbled before God so that He can lift you up.

Being humble in a relationship with God is something that I think has been often misunderstood. People think that they need to grovel at God’s feet, mentally degrading and emotionally punishing themselves for their sins. Instead, I think that humility before God is the natural, automatic attitude that we acquire whenever we open our eyes to His greatness. In the book that I’m reading, Prayer by Philip Yancey, the author puts it this way:

“(Humility) accurately reflects the truth. Most of what I am— my nationality and mother tongue, my race, my looks and body shape, my intelligence, the century in which I was born, the fact that I am still alive and relatively healthy— I had little or no control over. On a larger scale, I cannot affect the rotation of planet earth, or the orbit that maintains a proper distance from the sun so that we neither freeze nor roast, or the gravitational forces that somehow keep our spinning galaxy in exquisite balance. There is a God and I am not it.

Humility does not mean I grovel before God… It means, rather, that in the presence of God I gain a glimpse of my true state in the universe, which exposes my smallness at the same time it reveals God’s greatness.”

When we surrender to this attitude of humility before God, and then we think about how much that same awesome God loves us, it’s an amazing feeling. We are uplifted by His love only through our own humility!

The truth is that a connection with God is our most basic need in life, but not for the reasons that many people seem to believe. A relationship with God is in itself the thing that we need; yet many people believe that the results of such a relationship are what we really need. I won’t deny that there are great benefits of a life lived with God. He brings us strength, joy, provision, and purpose. Praying to Him is good for us because it can teach us to be thankful for what we have, think of others before ourselves, and keep our focus on God’s greater perspective. But these effects of prayer on our lives are not the purpose of prayer, really; they are just the side benefits. The purpose of prayer, as I understand it today at least, is to maintain an intimate and honest relationship with God.

Prayer should not be seen as transactional. God is not a cashier at the grocery store, allowing us to take things that we need or want in exchange for something valuable to us (in this case, our time). He is not a genie, granting us our every wish, and we cannot earn His favor on our lives through flattery. No, He wants a relationship much deeper than that. God desires friendship with us.

Part of every healthy friendship is the ability for both parties to be honest and open with each other. God speaks truth into our lives in many ways, but that isn’t all He wants to do. He also wants to hear us speak the truth to Him. He wants our honesty! And since He knows every thought that we have before we even have it, learning to be honest with God is really more of a battle with ourselves than anything else. Perhaps God wants us to pray to Him not because we can tell Him things that He doesn’t already know, but because the act of being vulnerable with Him changes us and improves our relationship with Him.

I don’t yet understand the role that our personal requests have or should have in prayer. I don’t know if asking God for things has any purpose or changes the way that things will happen. What I do know is that when we share our pain, struggles, hopes, dreams, and wishes with God, He listens. He wants us to share these things with Him because they are part of the essence of who we are. Even though we may just be reiterating what he already knows, it is the act of sharing ourselves with God that brings us closer to Him.

Ah, the prayer. It’s the tool that we use to speak to something bigger and greater than ourselves. Prayer is used by many different religions to speak to their version of God, including the God of the Trinity (God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit), Allah, Adonai, Brahma, and Ahura Mazda just to name a few. Prayer is also used to speak to holy saints or the universe, and in some cases, people pray just hoping that it reaches someone or something out there. But no matter to whom prayer is addressed, it is used by people all around the world in many different fashions. So why do we do it? Why do we pray?

Personally, my attitude towards prayer has often been up and down. The truth is, I sometimes get something out of it (like feeling closer to God), but I usually don’t. And even though I have noticed that when I consistently take time to pray every day my life does start to improve in certain ways, I have also often questioned why I should bother to pray.

Take a moment to think about it. If you believe in the God of the Bible, then you believe that He is all-powerful, infinitely good and loving, wise, and just (among many other qualities, all of which are good). If you believe that, then you know that God is much more wise than you are and that His plan for your life is much better than yours. Personally, I feel pretty confident that God doesn’t compromise His plans based on what I want, because then I would be missing out on something much better. So then, why bother praying? Why bother asking God for things when He has already determined what will happen? It’s not as if I am going to change His mind, and honestly, in the end that always turns out to be a good thing. So why bother even asking?

Maybe prayer is supposed to be for a different purpose. Maybe it’s not supposed to be mainly composed of asking God for things. Perhaps prayer is meant to be a time to just talk to God about what’s going on in your life, ask Him questions, and generally share companionship with Him. But even this brings up some problems for me.

For one thing, I believe that God is all-knowing. Because of that, I often feel a bit silly just telling Him what’s happening in my life and how I feel. I mean, He already knows, right? In fact, He understands me even better than I understand myself. Explaining to Him how I feel and why would be like me telling a doctor about the basic concepts of human biology. When I think about that, prayer starts to seem pretty silly to me!

So if praying to ask for things is out, and praying to tell God about my life and feelings is out, then what else can I use it for? Well, while thinking through this question I tried looking at it as I would look at any other conversation with a loved one. For me, conversations usually have several different aspects: sharing information, feelings, and struggles is one; asking for and giving advice is another; debating opinions can often be an aspect in certain conversations; and then there is the one aspect that I think is by far the most important— listening.

Even though we often seem to forget it, listening is actually a vital component of communication. At least for me, I am often so eager to share my own information and feelings with other people that I forget to listen to what they have to say. But conversation is completely useless if neither person is listening to the other! Which is why I think that in every healthy human relationship, both people have learned how to share things as well as how to listen. So then, why is it that in our relationships with God, we struggle so much with taking the time to listen?

Well, I would argue that it’s actually not completely because of our own selfishness. I mean, when it comes to conversation with God, things work a little bit differently than they do in human conversations. The biggest difference, I’d say, is that we can’t literally see or hear God when we’re talking to Him. It’s a little bit harder to listen to God speak to us when we can’t even hear Him! Because of that, I think we humans should get a little bit of slack. Prayer takes faith, and faith is not always easy for us to have. At the same time, I know that spiritual maturity depends on strong faith and an understanding of how to listen and commune with God. That’s why I find it extremely important to figure this whole prayer thing out.

To help me with this quest, I’ve started reading a book called Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? by Philip Yancey. Seems fitting, right? Unfortunately, I just started reading it so I don’t have much to report yet. I plan on continuing this topic for the next couple of weeks, to share my journey as I attempt to better understand why prayer is so important. This week, I’d just like to leave you with one thought from the very beginning of the book, about the purpose of prayer.

The author suggests that prayer is so vital because it takes us out of our own little worlds and gives us a momentary glimpse of God’s infinitely greater perspective. So often, we become blinded to the world around us and the bigger picture because we are so distracted with the things that are happening to us. We forget that there are actually other perspectives in the world, and that the world really doesn’t secretly revolve around us. Prayer is a tool that can realign our point of view with God’s, if only temporarily. And I can certainly agree that there is something incredibly refreshing about getting out of my own head for a few minutes a day.

To me, prayer seems to be one of the most taken-for-granted things in the world. Many of us do it every day, or at least fairly often, and yet we never seem to stop and think about what it actually means. Whatever the purpose of prayer is, the mere fact that we can do it in the first place is purely amazing! We are just tiny little ants from God’s perspective, one speck out of almost 7 billion others; yet God does not see us that way at all. He sees us each as individuals, valued and loved beyond measure, and He takes the time to listen to each one of us whenever we speak to Him. How unfathomably amazing is that?

Without a doubt, I can say that prayer is a gift. My goal for the next few weeks is to learn how to use it.

Church is such an interesting concept. I mean, for starters, the word has so many different meanings and connotations for different people. For some people, the word “church” brings on a sense of peacefulness and happiness. For others, it brings on a sense of nausea. Even for those who follow a church-going religion, church can have so many different meanings. It can be a sacred, holy place where you should be on your best behavior. Or, it can be a fun, lively place where you can be your goofy self. It can be a place where you feel obligated to go, a place where you go to out of habit, or a place where you look forward to going to every week. It can even be a place that you avoid, because you really don’t think that it’s necessary to attend.

Some people see it as a sort of club where they can be around like-minded people, perhaps even using it as a gathering place to discuss how wrong the rest of the world is. For those who are not part of religions involving churches, it can be a building that they sneer at when they drive by, because they see it as an ugly, misguided, or useless place. And for some people, church is simply a place that they politely ignore because it doesn’t apply to them.

However you see church, there is probably a long story behind it. When I think about church, I tend to have positive feelings. You could say that this is because I’ve had a lot of positive church experiences, or because I was raised with church as a normal part of my life, but I think that the biggest reason is that I know the inventor. I know and understand what church is meant to be, because I’ve read about it in the Bible, the way that it was when it was originally created. I just so happen to think that the Biblical model of church is pretty awesome.

Simply put, the Biblical church is a group of people who believe in the God of the Bible and who are commissioned to share the love of Jesus with the rest of the world. As children of God who are wholly forgiven and purified by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, the church can live free from sin by depending on God’s grace instead of their own obedience or rule-following. The church is not meant to be a place of judgment, rules, secrecy, or exclusion. Instead, church is meant to be a place of unrelenting love open to all people, eager to help those in need. What a beautiful picture!

Unfortunately, churches often fall very short of this image. Over the years, many churches have turned into their own worst enemy, pushing people farther and farther away from God instead of drawing them closer. But there is still hope! There are still many churches out there that understand God’s plan for them. If we can learn to see church in a healthier way, then maybe we can one day get to a place where all churches will reflect God’s love the way that He intended.

Although no church will ever be perfect, they can certainly still be healthy. Healthy churches come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. Ever since my husband and I moved to Riverside County about a month and a half ago, we have been searching for a new church to be a part of. We have discovered that every church has its own unique style and personality, and that some churches fit us better than others. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that! In fact, I think that it’s vital that healthy churches exist in many different forms, because that means that many different types of people will be able to find a church that suits them. For Cory and I, though, it has been a bit difficult to find a church that we really feel at home in.

In Orange County, we attended a wonderful church called Saddleback. Saddleback Church is a very large, well-known church with eight different campuses in Southern California. We were part of the college-aged ministry called Crave, which met at the campus in Rancho Capistrano, and we also served in the children’s ministry at the same campus on Saturdays. Sometimes, we attended church with my family at the original “main” campus in Lake Forest. No matter which campus we attended though, the feeling was pretty much the same; we belonged. Being a part of Saddleback Church was an awesome experience. This is definitely one church that understands its purpose to share God’s love with everybody!

Now that we don’t live very close to any Saddleback Church campuses, we are discovering just how great we had it there. We haven’t yet found any churches near us that suit us as well as Saddleback did, and I realize now that I never truly appreciated my church for how great it was. If you are part of a church that you love, then I encourage you to really enjoy it and don’t take it for granted!

I am sure that we will soon find a church out here that is filled with as much love and is as welcoming as Saddleback is. As much as I love that church, I know that the Church is really all of God’s children around the world, and that church is about relationships with God and other people. I am sure that we will find a church that understands this as much as our old one did.

There is just one more thing that I want to point out about church, and that’s the reason why being part of one is so important to me. I know a lot of Christians who don’t attend church, and their list of excuses for it are about as long as my arm. One of the most common reasons I know of is that “you don’t need to go to Church to be a Christian.” I also know a lot of Christians who attend church because they feel obligated to. But both of these approaches are missing the most important reason to attend church; because it makes your life better and helps you to grow!

I do not believe that I need to go to church to be a Christian or to love God, or especially to go to Heaven when I die. If I believed any of those things, then I would have a woefully poor understanding of the Bible and of God. No, I go to church because I see a difference in my life when I do. Regularly attending church strengthens my relationship with God, allows me to build relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ, and helps me to become more and more like Jesus. All of those things make my life better and bring me joy!

Church is not a mandate from God, it is a gift and a tool that he lovingly gave to us to help us during our time on Earth. Jesus didn’t die just to save us for eternity, He died to save us for life! What I mean by that is that God doesn’t just want to be in our hearts, He wants to be in our day-to-day lives. Jesus wants us to put Him in control of our lives because He loves us and knows what’s best for us. We cannot receive God’s best for us if we don’t live with our eyes and hearts set on Him. Going to church is just one way that we can receive some of the blessings that God wants to give us. Some of the greatest friendships I have ever had were with people who I met at church, and some of the closest moments I have had with God were in the presence of fellow believers. I love church because it brings me closer to God and it helps me to become the person that He made me to be. And that simply feels good.

Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about my understanding of responsibility. Specifically, I’ve been struggling to understand what kinds of things are my responsibilities and what kinds of things are not. I recently realized that I have an unhealthy tendency to feel responsible for so many things that I can’t control. Over the past week or so, I’ve been gradually teaching myself to let go of those things and give them to God instead.

There are many things that I often find myself feeling responsible for. I feel responsible for how people see me and what they think about me. I feel responsible for earning the approval of others. This applies particularly to people who I care about, but it also often includes complete strangers. I feel responsible for pleasing my family and friends and for meeting their expectations. To be honest, I often feel responsible to exceed their expectations. I feel compelled to be as close to perfect as I can be.

I also often feel responsible for what other people think about God, specifically my close friends and family members. Some part of my brain tells me that I may very well be the only person who can show them the light, and that it is therefore my duty to say or do just the right thing to reach them. I take on the impossible and fully expect myself to achieve it. When I don’t, I feel a huge sense of anxiety and emotional pain over my helplessness to change their minds.

Another thing that I feel responsible for is fixing people. This obviously ties in with the problem I just mentioned, but it goes beyond that. When I see somebody in pain or struggling or suffering with an unmet need, I feel compelled to fix it. It’s not just that I want to help or offer comfort, either. I literally want to make the problem go away, and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing to want, it is bad when I feel as if I actually must do so. Because the fact is, I can never make a person’s problems go away completely. And when I realize that there is nothing I can do to fix it, I feel distressed, upset, and helpless. I end up doing nothing, instead pushing the person out of my mind because that is the only way that I can move on with my life.

The truth of the matter is that none of these things are my responsibilities. I cannot please everybody, I cannot force people to love God and live in a way that pleases Him, and I cannot fix people’s problems. Even God cannot or chooses not to be responsible any of these things! He doesn’t try to please everybody, because He knows that being true to His nature is way more important than making people happy. He doesn’t force people to believe in Him, to love Him, or to follow Him, either. In many cases, He doesn’t even bother trying to convince people to do those things! Why not? Because God, in His infinite wisdom, understands that it is not His responsibility to change or control how people behave. He lets people be responsible for their own actions, beliefs, and decisions. Of course, I know that if what I feel is even a fraction of what God feels for those people, then it must break His heart every day that He watches them make those choices. Yet He still doesn’t change His mind. God lets people remain responsible for themselves, because He loves them enough to respect their free will. I have to learn how to do the same.

Do you know what else God doesn’t do? He doesn’t fix all of people’s problems! That is a huge sticking point for some people who don’t believe in Him or follow Him. After all, if God loves us so much, then why doesn’t He just make everything perfect and end our suffering? People have come up with many great answers to that question, but I think it all comes down to this; God lets us take responsibility for the mess that we’ve made in our lives and our world. Originally, he did give us a perfect world! But humanity decided to mess it up, and it’s only gotten worse since then. It’s our choice to make bad decisions and do bad things, and He respects our right to make those choices.

It doesn’t end there, though. God doesn’t just leave us in our mess and say “Best of luck to you, suckers!” The Bible tells us that His heart breaks for the suffering of His people. He loves us, and He hates to see us struggle! Which is exactly why He made a way for things to be different. He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for us and pay the price for all of our mistakes and bad choices. It is through Jesus that we can find hope for a better way. It is through Jesus that we can have a relationship with the God of the universe, and have hope for today and for the future.

Even those who love God still have problems, though. The difference is that when people who love God have problems, there is a limit to what they can lose. As a Christian, I know that no matter what happens to me in life, nobody can ever take away my relationship with God. Nobody can ever take away my eternal future in Heaven. Nobody can ever take away God’s love for me, and when it really comes down to it, that’s all I need. Because of that, I know that I’ll always be okay. Of course, that doesn’t mean life will always be a piece of cake.

Thinking about all of these things, I think that I might finally understand that I’m really not responsible for all of the things that I put on my own shoulders. And if I follow Jesus’ example, then I can start to understand what I am responsible for. Like Jesus, I am responsible for my own actions. I am responsible for loving God and loving others to the best of my ability. I am responsible for doing my best to live in a way that pleases God, which includes sharing His message with others and helping people in whatever ways that I can. And because of Jesus, I am covered 100% and completely when I make mistakes. Because of Jesus, I am not responsible for being perfect. That, my friends, is called freedom, and Jesus took full responsibility for it a long, long time ago.

Religion is a very interesting concept. It is the thing that many people cling to for their lives, some try to ignore, and others feel is the source of all evil. So what is religion, really? And why is it such a big deal in our society?

Dictionary.reference.com defines it as “a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.” That seems like a pretty good and thorough definition to me. Let’s look at it a little bit closer.

Religion is a set of beliefs, first of all. More specifically, it is a set of beliefs about how and why the universe exists. Some might say that religion is a set of beliefs about the meaning of life. It tries to answer questions like, “why am I here?” and “what are humans meant to do on earth, if anything?” Since these are pretty important questions for us to answer, it makes sense that we’ve come up with “organized” ways of answering them, also known as religion.

Second of all, religion often takes into account some sort of “higher being.” Whether it’s God, Allah, the Universe, or some other spiritual entity, many people choose to believe in a higher power. Particularly, many people use their belief in this higher power to explain creation and give further definition to their beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life.

Thirdly, many religions rely heavily on “devotional and ritual observances,” or certain religious behaviors that are used to practice their beliefs. These can range from praying to chanting to meditating to complex ceremonies and many other behaviors. But they all serve the purpose of giving people something to do to express their religious feelings and beliefs.

Last, religions generally have something to say about morality. They give people rules and guidelines for living. For some religions, these moral guidelines are vague, such as “Seek to live with the truth.” For other religions, they are quite specific; for example, “Do not commit adultery.” Either way, religion serves the purpose of giving people a set of moral guidelines so that they don’t have to decide on each individual issue that they come across on their own. It also often gives people overall guidelines for how to live well.

When you look at religion using this definition, it starts to look like anything, really, can be a religion. There is no rulebook or official book of religions that one has to clear it with in order to believe in something. I could create my own religion called Heatherism in which there is a giant pink pony in charge of the universe, and nobody could stop me. Nobody can control what you believe (although unfortunately, in many countries the government can try to stop you from practicing those beliefs outwardly.) My point is, the word “religion” really doesn’t mean anything too specific by itself.

I say this because many people seem to hate the whole concept of “religion.” But when people say that they hate religion, what they really mean is that they hate the way that some people following some religions have behaved or are currently behaving. Because in reality, I’m pretty sure that no reasonable person would have a problem with me believing in God as long as I didn’t push it on others, especially if believing that made me a better person. Sure, some people might believe with all of their hearts minds and souls that I am crazy for believing in God, but I feel fairly confident that most would not hate my religion in that case.

On the other hand, I completely agree with the many, many people who feel angry about the way that many religious people have behaved. There have been a horrendously huge amount of terrible acts committed in the name of religion, and that is undeniable and just sad. But the truth is, people who do terrible things for religion almost always aren’t acting in the true spirit of their religion. And for many religious-terrorist and religious-hate-group types, I can’t help but wonder what other outlet they would have found for their violent and hateful tendencies if it hadn’t been a religion. Evil people are evil, and religion is just a tool that some of them use to hurt others. Religion by itself is not harmful, bad, or evil, and most religious people are no worse than their non-religious counterparts.

Which brings me to my next and final point, the reason that I am writing this blog at all; Religion and Jesus are not the same thing, but they’re also not as conflicted as some people try to claim.

I love Jesus. Because I love Him and I believe in Him, I choose to follow Him. Following Him means that I try to live in a way that pleases Him and that I participate in certain behaviors that allow me to have a relationship with Him. In other words, I have “a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.”

For all of the people out there who say that they love Jesus but hate religion, I just want to ask them how. How is it possible to believe in Jesus and choose to follow Him without having a religion? Because those two things automatically add up to R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N.

Honestly, though, I understand the motive here. People want to distance themselves from the ugly past of the Christian church and instead run towards a simple relationship with Jesus. None of the messiness and all of the benefits, right? Wrong. You see, there is no such thing as a simple relationship with Jesus, and there is no way for a Christian to grow to his/her fullest extent without a church family. Part of loving Jesus is being part of His family, and as soon as you join the club you get a lovely inheritance of all of the yucky things that Christians of the past (and present) have done. As easy as it would be to simply disown that part of it, things just don’t work that way. The best solution that I’ve found is to love the church for all of the wonderful things it has done, and feel properly angry about all of the terrible things it has done. It also means apologizing for the ways that other people, and I, have falsely portrayed my God in the past!

The other motive that I am aware of for Christians who claim to hate religion is the whole “no religion, just relationship” concept. I really do appreciate this concept for what it aims to do, which is emphasize that a relationship with Jesus, not a religious identity, is the answer to your problems. And it’s true! All the really matters is that you have a relationship with Jesus— that you admit that you need Him, invite Him to take charge of your life, and then live your life focusing on Him. But the thing is, as soon as you do that… you have a religion. It may not be what you thought a religion was, but it still is one. And there is nothing wrong with that!

For me, my religion is my relationship with God through Jesus. I am a religious person, but I don’t let weird religious issues get in the way of being the person that God wants me to be— after all, Jesus sure didn’t! I mean what I say when I claim that I am a follower of Jesus; that is why I aim to live my life every day as Jesus did. Of course, I am quite terrible at it, which is why I need Him so desperately in the first place. But the point is, I try my best to live like He did, and from my studying and time spent with Him, I’ve come to believe that that means loving other people as best as I can. That is the true meaning of Christianity, and the reason why I have no problem identifying myself as a religious, Bible-thumping Jesus freak. =P

Reference: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion?s=t