Spiritual Lessons from My Journey into Motherhood

 

Being pregnant was such a special time in my life. Although I didn’t have the most comfortable pregnancies, I did really enjoy the process of bringing new lives into the world.

Currently, I am not planning on becoming pregnant again. Instead, my husband and I plan on adopting a baby. Reflecting on my journey into biological motherhood over the past few years, there are a few important lessons I have learned.

 

Childbirth Doesn’t Have to be Terrifying

Before we were married, I went through a phase of thinking that I would never want to have children. At first, this was mostly due to fears about the birth process, and how horrible and scary and painful it would be. The simple mechanics of it just seemed horrifying. I have a low pain-tolerance, and a phobia of needles and medical environments in general. I didn’t want to have to face any of that. I thought that instead, we should adopt—even knowing deep down that having biological children was part of God’s plan for me.

Counter-intuitive though it may seem, learning about natural childbirth was the thing that started to change my mind about birth. I learned that women’s bodies were made to do it. I learned that birth doesn’t have to be medicalized. I learned about midwifery, homebirth, and using hypnosis for childbirth. I learned about supernatural childbirth, and how my faith in God can be used powerfully to experience a better birth. These things gave me the confidence I needed to overcome my fear of childbirth, and welcome the opportunity to bring babies into the world with the miraculous gifts of pregnancy and birth.

 

The Risk Is Worth It

There’s a saying that becoming a parent is like choosing to have your heart walk around outside of your body. And it’s true! Being a parent is incredibly risky. You love this other person so much that it’s beyond words, and the idea of them ever getting hurt or making a bad decision is terrifying to you. You have everything invested in your children, and yet very little control over what happens to them. That idea scared the living daylights out of me, and it was one of the reasons I was afraid to become a parent.

It took a very painful experience for me to understand that the risk of losing a child, while terrifying, does not outweigh the worth of being a parent. Being a parent has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life, and I couldn’t imagine not having this privilege. I was meant to be a mother. It’s one of God’s callings on my life that I can’t deny, no matter what pain or risks I have to face.

But I had to learn this through the experience of pregnancy loss. My husband and I lost our first baby, Sam, only six weeks into our pregnancy. At first, I was in a place of anger, utter heartbreak, loss of trust, and loss of hope for the future. Other people’s words of comfort often felt like a slap in the face to me. They told me that I should hold on to God, but I was furious at him. They told me to keep trusting him because it was all in his plan, but I felt like my trust in him was broken. Most of all, I despised it when people told me that we could try again. The thought of trying again, of putting myself at risk for heartbreak again, was a terrible thought. I felt that it wasn’t worth the risk.

It was from this place of darkness that God showed us the light. Through the guidance of some godly people in our lives, God showed us the simple truth that he is good. We learned that our miscarriage was not God’s doing or his plan for us, but an attack from the enemy. We also learned that God is bigger and stronger than our enemy. We learned what living victoriously in Jesus really means.

Without those lessons, we wouldn’t have been able to handle the fear, as parents, of “what might happen.” Instead of living in fear, we trust and believe that God has his hand over our family. I don’t have to worry about what might happen to my kids because I know that God’s got them. They are in good hands.

 

The Big Picture

Sometimes, even with strong faith and trust in God, we can experience loss and trials in this world. It is a broken world, after all. We may not be of this world (as Christians), but we are still in it.

I try not to entertain thoughts of what might happen in scenarios of my greatest fears. I believe that we should discipline our thoughts and train ourselves to think about good things, not horrible ones. But I do have an understanding that my faith might not always protect me or my family in this world. Bad things could happen. Christians can lose their children tragically, just like anybody else.

But instead of fearing for this, I focus on the big picture. The big picture is my human approximation of what God sees. He sees things in light of eternity! This life seems so big to us. It seems like everything. But what we often forget to realize is that compared to eternity, this life is just a drop in the bucket. What we also often forget to realize is that compared to an eternity in paradise with God, this life is basically a poop parade.

Now, I know that sounds pretty negative. But it’s not, I promise! Realizing that this life, our bodies, the earthly things we have, and our comfort in this lifetime is all temporary… well, it’s actually so freeing. If we lose our earthly lives, we gain something better– eternal life. As long as you’ve accepted Jesus as your savior, that is!*

So if my faith is not always enough to save my kids or myself from suffering, or even death, then I can have peace and comfort and joy even, knowing that there is something unspeakably wonderful ahead.

As a parent, there is no greater comfort. I know that it’s going to be okay, literally NO. MATTER. WHAT. There might be suffering, but suffering is temporary. An eternity of JOY is ahead, and that is something to celebrate. This is why we praise God! Isn’t he awesome?

 

 

*Have you accepted Jesus as your savior yet? Do you want to? You can, right now!

Just pray this prayer:

God, I know that I am not perfect. I have sinned, and that means I am not worthy of you. But I believe you sent your son Jesus to Earth, and he lived a perfect life and he died on the cross, as a sacrifice for me. Jesus, I invite you into my heart right now. Please come in and forgive me of my sins. Make me right with God. Help me live my life in a way that pleases you.

In Jesus name,

Amen

If you prayed that prayer, then you are now a redeemed child of God! You just made the best decision you could ever make. Your eternity is secured! Go ahead and celebrate that. And please share it with someone. Leave me a comment or send me a message. Go find a church you can be a part of, and continue to grow in your faith.

8 Pets and Counting

I love animals. I always have, since I was a little girl. Having a lot of pets has brought me joy throughout my life, and I couldn’t imagine not having them around!

When I was a child, I had bunnies, a tortoise, turtles, parakeets, mice, a hamster, dogs, cats, and guinea pigs. My dad also had iguanas and a snake. And as a young adult, I had cockatiels. When it comes to pets, I like variety!

As a child, I wasn’t taught well about being responsible for my pets’ care. I wasn’t the best young pet owner, and I hate to think about the fact that my childhood pets did not have the lives they deserved. As an adult, one of the things that brings me joy through pet-ownership is knowing that I am giving my pets a great life. I have a high standard of care for my pets, and a high level of commitment. I now realize that adding a pet to the family is a big commitment, and shouldn’t be made lightly!

But anyway.

Currently, I have four dogs, two cats, and two mice. Let me introduce them!

Marley is our 13 ½ year old mutt. We think he has American Pit Bull Terrier, American Foxhound, and Labrador Retriever in him.

My family of origin adopted him from a shelter when I was 13 years old, and he was about one year old. He came to live with me when I got married.

He’s always been gentle and low-energy, and has become even more so with age. He’s struggled for most of his life with severe separation anxiety, and anxiety in general, but for the past year or so he has been doing great.

Sky is our eight year old American Eskimo Dog. (She’s considered to be “miniature” size, not standard). My husband and I adopted her from a rescue when she was about three years old, before we had our first child.

Sky is the friendliest, happiest dog I’ve ever had. She adores people, strangers and family members alike. She gets along with any dog or cat she comes across. She’s a total sweetie!

Lila is our almost-three-year-old Jack Russell Chihuahua mix. We adopted her from a shelter when she was about two months old (and weighed about two pounds!).

Lila has been the most challenging dog we’ve owned. She absolutely refused to be potty trained as a puppy, and it took professional board-and-training to get through that difficult stage. Now that she’s grown, she’s a very sweet and saucy little dog. She is the most timid of our dogs, and doesn’t approach new people or dogs easily. She’s probably the smartest dog I’ve ever had, though.

Macy is our newest dog. She’s a one year old purebred American Pit Bull Terrier. We bought her from a local breeder when she was two months old, and just about the cutest thing in the world.

Macy has been the easiest-to-train dog I’ve ever had. I like to say that she’s my “soul-dog” (like soul-mates, but for owners and their dogs). Something about her just connects with my soul!

She is also a huge people-lover. When we go to the dog park, she’s on the bench with the humans. She’s very submissive to any new dogs she meets, often to her detriment because she’s too timid to play. But when there’s a scuffle, she’s quick to run over and referee!

Luna is our five year old Tuxedo (black and white) domestic shorthair cat. We adopted her from the shelter when she was about four years old (a year and a half ago). She’s very low-maintenance, quiet, keeps to herself, and lives primarily upstairs away from the dogs. She does love (and demand) attention when we go upstairs though!

Leo is our eight month old black kitten. We adopted him from the shelter when he was three months old (and barely two pounds). The best word to describe Leo is… dauntless. Even at two pounds, he had no problem running around with our four dogs. He is zero percent shy. He also does what he wants, one hundred percent of the time. Luna was less than thrilled when we added this wild creature to her peaceful life! But, she’s adjusted, and they only tumble around in a screeching ball of fur and whiskers once or twice a day now. ;D

Harriet and Hazel are our mice. They are sisters, and we bought them from the pet store when they were not quite fully grown, probably about two months old. We’ve had them for almost a year. Mice don’t have the longest lifespans, so we’ll likely only enjoy them for another year or so at most. (Then again, they can sometimes live up to three years, so we’ll see!) I think mice are so cute! There’s not much else to say about them, but they generally spend their days cuddling up together, sleeping, and eating. Mice are very easy to handle, and my kids are always delighted when I take Harriet and Hazel out so they can pet them.

That’s it for now! In our current location, we are limited to four dogs. In our current home, we do not have room to comfortably fit any more litter boxes, so that means no more cats either. In fact, we really don’t have a good space for any small pets either, because I’d want to keep them in a separate room to keep them safe from our cats and dogs.

However, when we do move to a bigger house (and/or a house with some land!) we do plan on adding more pets to our family. On my short list are parakeets, a lizard (Blue-Tongued Skink to be exact) for my son (which I will primarily care for), and either bunnies or guinea pigs or both.

In 2017 we lost our three guinea pigs (they were killed by our dogs), only three months after losing our fourth (who died of an illness). We were devasted, and still miss them terribly. But because I am quite allergic to guinea pigs, we might want to have bunnies in the future instead.

I am not certain I want any more cats, but we will see. Leo was adopted because I had a dream about him! Yes, seriously. He was in my dream, and the next day I went to the shelter and found him. True story. 🙂

But anyway, the point being, I didn’t necessarily want more than one cat until I suddenly did. So who knows! We may end up with more cats and possibly more dogs, on top of having other types of pets.

On my long wish list are other animals including donkeys, chickens, tortoise(s), pig(s), goat(s), ferrets (if they ever become legal in my state), maybe ducks, and perhaps a sugar glider. I wouldn’t mind having cockatiels again if we were able to safely house them in a separate area of the house from us, because they are very loud.

So that’s about it! Pets are definitely an addiction of mine, but I do care a great deal about being responsible with them. Animals add such joy to my life, and I love that my kids are able to grow up with animals in their lives.