As you may (or may not) know, I recently quit my babysitting job to focus on writing. So far, it has been going well but also not well. On the one hand, I am much happier and I love being able to stay at home and work side by side with my husband, just writing to my heart’s content. I’m still planning on publishing my first novel by the end of the year, and that is coming along well. I’ve also published several other small projects including an article, a short story, and even a poem. It has been a lot of fun and I’m gaining a lot of experience, which I think will help me to develop my writing career.
However, the downside is that I’m not making any money. I have literally made $7 from writing since I started this experiment. And the truth of the matter is that I am not sure that I will ever make much of anything doing what I want to do, which is creative writing. So my greatest task of late has been dealing with that fact, and learning to accept it.
Fortunately, God is faithful and He is still taking care of my husband and I. Cory’s web-design business is prospering and he is making enough money to support us on his income alone. That is a true blessing, because it allows me to keep focusing on my writing career and give myself a chance to succeed at it. There is still a possibility that I’ll be the next Suzanne Collins (author of the Hunger Games, in case you didn’t know), and I am holding on to that possibility.
Of course, more than likely, I will not be that successful. There are just so many books out there, let alone young adult science fiction books, and the chances of mine getting published by an actual publisher seem low. Either way I plan to publish my books, even if I have to self-publish; but if that is what ends up happening, then the chances of it making any real money go down a whole lot. In the end, I have to accept the possibility that writing may always be more of a hobby for me than a career. And you know what? I’m actually okay with that.
You see, I think that I’ve found my deeper calling. Yes, I believe that God gave me a gift for writing and I plan on using it to the best of my ability to glorify Him. But I also believe that He has an even greater plan for my life. Recently, I had an epiphany in which I think God revealed to me what that plan is. Are you ready for this? I want to be a foster parent. And when I say that, what I mean is that I want to foster lots of kids; as many as we can, in fact.
Here’s the dream: I want to live in a big house with lots of bedrooms so that we can foster as many kids as possible. That probably looks like we’ll have one or two of our own and take in four foster kids at a time. I also want to start some kind of animal rescue, and let the kids help out with caring for the animals as a sort of “therapy.” That way I can combine my love for animals with my love for children! Plus, I can make a difference in the world and most importantly, I can use my life to serve God. What could be better?
Cory’s dream, which is to be an entrepreneur and start businesses, also fits right in with mine. He is going to make it his goal to make as much money as he can in the best ways that he can so that he can serve God by giving back to build God’s kingdom and providing for our family. His other dream, which is to raise a family, will also be a big part of his job as a father and a foster parent!
I’m really excited about this new dream. I think that this is what God is calling us to do, and it gives me so much motivation to keep working towards it in the meantime while we wait for the timing to be right. But this dream is also kind of scary! First of all, we have no idea how to be parents. Learning will definitely be an adventure and we know that we have a lot of growing to do before we can start. Second of all, our situation is a bit financially precarious. Starting businesses is hard work and it doesn’t always work out. We’ll be depending on his income alone to support a large family, and that is definitely a big leap of faith. But both of these challenges, plus the many others that I’m sure we will encounter along the way, are the ways that God is asking us to depend on Him.
Living by faith means that we know that even when things seem difficult, or even impossible, God is still in control. He is still taking care of us and guiding us through His plan for us. And as long as we know that His plans for us are good, there is nothing to worry about. Which is why even when we think we know what we are meant to do with our lives, we don’t hold on too tightly. Things change, and we can have faith that when they change, it’s because God has something even better in mind. My husband and I are living by faith, in expectant anticipation of what God has in store for us.