Category: Babies

Happy 10 Months Birthday, Abigail!

Little Abi is now 10 months old. It’s a fun age, but also a challenging one!

She takes two naps per day, about an hour give or take. Really, that’s not much for her age, but I’ll take what I can get.

She sleeps okay at night, sometimes only waking up a couple of times to nurse, but more often she wakes up frequently and is restless. I blame it on teething, because ibuprofen seems to help. Speaking of teething, she still doesn’t have a single tooth. They’re in hiding!

Abigail loves to explore. She crawls everywhere (always on her hands and knees now instead of her belly), climbs on things, pulls herself up to stand, and puts everything in her mouth. She can climb up the small slide we have in our play area by herself, on either end (ladder or slide). She climbs up the stairs any chance she gets. She keeps us on on our toes!

She is eating baby food, but only to supplement her primarily breastfed diet.

Her diaper rash has finally healed, and only has mild flare-ups now. The ointment that finally worked for us is called Triple Paste, and I am so thankful for it.

Abi gives “kisses” sometimes, involving putting her open mouth on my face (or Cory’s). It’s pretty cute, actually. Probably the cutest thing she does on a regular basis is playing peek-a-boo. She loves it when we play with her, but even when we’re doing other things, she’s constantly seeking out fabrics to use to cover her head and then pull them off, with a look of pure delight on her face. She will use clean laundry from the basket, the play scarves we have, or even the skirt of her dress. It’s super silly!

She is extremely clingy. She wants to be held pretty much all the time, but sometimes her desire to explore triumphs and we will get a few minutes of a break from holding her. A few times a day, I have to put her in her playpen and let her cry so I can take care of some basic needs for myself, Cody, or our many pets. It can be pretty stressful.

We wear her in the carrier often, too, but she tends to not like it when I wear her facing in unless she wants to sleep. It’s difficult to wear her facing out and get anything done, because she’s very grabby. So the carrier doesn’t help me much in that way, but it is often how we put her to sleep for naps or bedtime.

Abigail loves her brother, and they often make each other laugh just by looking at each other and being silly. She also enjoys patting the dogs when they’re not too rambunctious and overwhelming her. She especially loves following our new kitten, Leo, around the house as he explores. She tries to pet him, and our other cat Luna, but they usually move too fast for her to get a lot of pets in.

When daddy comes home from work, Abigail gets very excited and crawls to him so he will pick her up. But in general, she tends to want me to hold her. So when Cory is home, I often have to stay out of her sight in order to get things done, because as soon as she sees me she will start fussing and trying to get me to hold her.

Happy Eight and Nine Months Birthday, Abigail!

Oops! I totally spaced on Abi’s 8 month birthday update. Here’s what she’s been up to these past two months.

At eight months:
She is very clingy, and hardly lets me put her down without crying.
She sits up on her own regularly.
We stopped feeding her baby food, which we were only doing occasionally anyway, because solid foods seemed to cause worse diaper rash.
She loves to play with toys, and gets bored easily if she doesn’t have something to hold.
She crawls on her belly, gets around pretty fast, and tries to get into everything.
She sometimes gets up on her hands and knees.
She loves her bathtime, and will crawl to the tub when we start getting it ready.
She takes two to three naps her day.
She still weighs 18 pounds and is now in the 54th percentile for weight.

At nine months:
She pulls up to stand.
She likes to pinch! It hurts.
She is still very clingy to mom, and resists being held by others including dad. But, she eventually accepts it.
She takes two naps per day, often an hour or less.
She babbles and shrieks with excitement.
She can get back up to sitting from her belly.
She likes to steal my nursing pads, from inside my shirt. She specifically likes to take the paper backing off of the sticky part and try to eat it. The fact that she knows they are there even when she can’t see them shows that she’s starting to understand object permanence. Basically, she’s smart. 😉
She is starting to crawl more on hands and knees, instead of her belly.
She learned how to clap.
She weighs 18.8 pounds, which means she’s finally gained some weight after three months of gaining nothing. She’s now in about the 60th percentile, so just slightly above average. She still has the cutest, most delicious chunky thighs.

 

Happy Seven Months Birthday, Abigail!

In the beginning of this month, Abi turned seven months old. Our silly little girl is more than halfway to one!

At seven months, she is able to sit up on her own, but usually prefers laying on her belly. She hasn’t crawled yet, but she’s getting pretty close. She loves to play with toys or interesting objects, and gets bored easily. She’s not content to just sit and observe things, she wants to explore with her hands. Holding her while trying to do anything else is very difficult, because she grabs everything!

For a couple of weeks, she seemed close to night-weaning, meaning sleeping through the night without having to nurse. But unfortunately, all progress was lost soon after that, when she started nursing even more frequently than ever at night. Typically she nurses anywhere from three to six times per night. Thankfully, three is more common than six.

She has teething pain and other signs of teething (like soaking her shirt in drool) sporadically, as she has since about three months, but no teeth have emerged yet. We can see them under the skin on her bottom gum, so I expect them to come out soon, but they’ve really been taking their time!

Somewhat concerningly, she still weighs 18 lbs, which means she hasn’t gained any weight in the last month. But because she’s still quite a chunky baby, still in the 64th percentile (down from the 78th), and seems active and happy, we’re not too concerned. She grew so fast in the first 6 months of her life that she’s probably just “catching down.” 😉

Abigail loves her nightly bath. She gets excited when we say “bath” and when she sees the tub. She starts bouncing in our arms and gets the biggest smile on her face! It’s really cute. On the flip side, she generally hates her after-bath lotioning, and usually cries or fusses through the entire lotion-diaper-pajamas process. But after that drama, she happily nurses to sleep, and the world is right again.

Just after turning seven months, Abigail said “mama” for the first time! Now it seems to be her favorite word, and she uses it frequently to summon her milk slave. For the record, she did say “dada” first, at about six months. It’s up for debate whether she had the intention, or was just babbling, but she did say it a lot so it could easily be her true first word. Now that she’s also said “mama,” I’m more willing to give the first word award to “dada.” ;P (In all fairness, Cody’s first word was “mama,” so it’s a good balance that we each get one.)

At this age, Abi takes three naps; morning, afternoon, and night. Technically the last nap could be considered part of her nighttime sleep, but we wake her up before we all go to bed as a family in order to give her a bath and keep her eczema at bay. She sleeps about 9-10 hours at night (waking up on average four times to nurse).
She has stretches of being content playing on the floor or in her bouncer, as long as a parent is close by. She also has stretches of being very clingy and crying any time she’s put down. She never really has times when she cries inconsolably, and when she is fussy even while being held, it’s a sign she needs to nap. Typically, she goes down fairly easily for her naps.

As the weather is beginning to warm up, I am enjoying dressing her in little dresses and skirts, showing off those adorably chunky baby legs! Oh what fun to dress a baby girl.

Happy Six Months Birthday, Abigail!

{This is very belated, as I wrote it but didn’t get around to posting it until now!}

Abigail turned six months old last weekend. I can’t believe we’re already halfway to one year!

Abi is still wearing some size 9 months clothes, and she also wears some things that are size 12 months. She weighs 18 lbs, and is tall for her age (or I guess you would say “long” at this stage since she’s not standing.)

She doesn’t sit up on her own yet or crawl. She still mostly likes to get around by rolling, or by us carrying her. She does travel pretty far by rolling and wiggling, so maybe she doesn’t feel too motivated to try anything more just yet. She doesn’t like to lay on her back, and always rolls to her side or belly when we put her down. Diaper changes are a struggle because she fights to be on her belly!

The biggest change this month has been her desire to explore things with her hands. She is no longer content to just watch the action, she wants to grab it for herself! She loves to grab, shake, taste, and slam anything she can get her hands on. Anything we are doing while holding her will be targeted. Because of that, we can’t really do much else while holding her any more. No computer, paper books, or cooking. She also tends to wriggle around a lot while she’s being held, which makes it more of a two-arm job. And unfortunately, our easy baby has disappeared, as she now demands to be held for a majority of the day. I still wouldn’t consider her high-need, because in other ways she really isn’t, but I also wouldn’t call her “easy” any more.

Because of how heavy she is, I’ve found wearing her to be a bit uncomfortable and hard on my back. So I don’t typically spend a lot of time with her in the carrier, but it’s definitely still useful for outings, and Cory still wears her for hours each day. Personally, I prefer to hold her in my arms, which I find to be easier on my back. She also seems more content that way, because I can shift her position and try different things to keep her entertained.

She did her first reach to be held this month, something I always find cute. She reaches for both me and her dad, though she does have a preference for me sometimes. She’s had a couple of episodes of separation anxiety from me, but she’s also accepted other caregivers easily. We even went out on a date, and left her with a babysitter!

Abigail has always seemed to eyeball our food, so when our pediatrician said we could start trying to feed her baby food, I thought, “why not?” And as it turns out, she is a great eater! It’s such a new experience for me to spoon feed a baby food and have her actually swallow it and open her mouth for more. So far, we’ve tried sweet potatoes, pears, peas, bananas, carrots, and cereal. She’s liked all of them except for the pears and cereal, and she wasn’t as enthusiastic about the peas as she was with the others. But she really seems to love sweet potatoes, bananas, and carrots. It’s exciting to see her accepting fruits and veggies already, and it gives me hope that she will be a good eater as she grows up.

Of course for now, she’s still so young that I’m not looking to make solid foods a big part of her diet. I still believe breastmilk is best for the first year. I typically feed her just half of a jar of stage one baby food (which is a tiny jar to begin with), then finish it off the next day and wait a few days before feeding her another one. I like the idea of introducing a variety of foods to her, but as I said, nothing beats breastmilk for baby nutrition!

Speaking of which, she’s still a great nurser and my supply is great as usual. She nurses about every 3 hours or so, and typically two to three times during the night. She sleeps with us in our family bed, and we all go to bed at about 10 PM (although Abigail frequently falls asleep before that). Cory gets up with the kids, usually sometime between 6:30 and 7:30. Occasionally, Abigail and/or Cody will stay asleep with me until I get up at 8. That means generally, Abi sleeps for nine to eleven hours per night.

She takes two naps at fairly predictable times now. Her first nap is in the late morning, around 10:30 or so, and her second nap is usually in the mid afternoon, around 3:30 or so. It can vary by a couple of hours some days, but that’s the most common. Her naps are about an hour long on average, but they can also be longer. When teething is bothering her, she has trouble staying asleep for naps and is restless at night.

As for her eczema and diaper rash: we finally beat it! The eczema could flare up again without warning at any time, of course, but for now her skin is clear. We bathe her in just water (no soap) every other day, and follow that with a full-body lotioning. The diaper rash was finally cured when we got a prescription for a steroid cream. It took about two weeks for it to fully go away using that, but it’s finally gone. Unfortunately, ever since we stopped the steroid cream, the rash keeps trying to come back. We put a light layer of Aquaphor on her at every change, but we still notice redness appearing every few days. When we see it, we put on more steroid cream for a day or two, and that takes care of it. It’s frustrating to have to keep using that, though, because I know it’s not recommended to use it long-term. Her skin is just so darn sensitive, and doesn’t respond to anything else! But at least for now, it seems to be under control, and she’s not uncomfortable any more. Thank God!

So that’s about it! Abi is a happy, healthy baby, and just the sweetest little nugget. Those chunky cheeks and big blue eyes, and her adorable smile… they get me every time. <3

Happy Five Months Birthday, Abigail!

Abigail is now five months old! She weighs 16.8 lbs and is almost 26” long. She is in the 78th percentile for weight, and 72nd for height. She wears 6-9 month size clothes, but some of her footsie pajamas are 12 month size. Her eyes are still the same shade of blue, and it seems likely they will remain blue at this point. Her hair seems to be more and more sparse, since she hasn’t grown any more that I can tell since being born.

She wakes up on average three times per night to nurse. She tends to be a somewhat restless sleeper, but I think that is because of her recent flare-up of eczema, which is making her itchy. The eczema appeared suddenly almost two weeks ago, starting on her cheeks and then spreading to the rest of her body. We started giving her daily baths and lotioning her afterward, which is apparently the most important thing to do for treating eczema. We also moisturize the most affected areas of her body a few times during the day. After about a week, it has mostly cleared up, but not completely. I’m not too concerned about it, but it is an annoyance.

We also have been fighting a diaper rash with her for over a month now. We’ve tried everything including coconut oil, traditional zinc oxide diaper rash creams, petrolatum ointment, anti-fungals, cortizone, and airing it out. She also wears “natural” diapers (without chemicals, dyes, or fragrances) and we use “natural” wipes (which contain mostly water and gentle, plant-based cleaners). The most successful treatment has been the petrolatum (Aquaphor) and a special healing ointment we bought called “Bee Magic” which contains honey, bee pollen, and other bee-related substances. Using those with every diaper change, she has almost completely healed several times, but then the rash will flare up again for no apparent reason. As of right now, it is “manageable,” meaning not getting any worse, and not severe enough to be very concerning. Like her eczema, it is more of an annoyance than anything. Diaper changes are a hassle because she tries to scratch herself, so we have to put mittens on her hands and try to pin down all of her limbs while smearing two types of ointment on her. As you can imagine, it’s basically an olympic sport. Rinse and repeat every two hours!

Anyway. She loves to sleep on her side now, and usually sucks on her thumb while sleeping. She tends to have a mid-morning nap and an early afternoon nap, each lasting one to three hours. I can usually tell when she’s tired because she will start to act grumpy. She’s so easy to put down; I close the curtains, put the white noise on, and then rock her. It takes just a few minutes for her to fall asleep. She doesn’t wake up when I put her down in bed, either. Easy peasy!

She doesn’t like her swing, so we haven’t used it in weeks. She prefers her bouncy seat, floor seat, play mat, high chair, or playpen. Of course her favorite option is being held, and she also loves to be worn in the carrier. This week, I was able to take her on a walk in the stroller, and she sat happily in the upper seat (it’s a double stroller). She also went in the baby swing at the park and loved it.

She loves grabbing things, including skin, hair, and faces. But toys will also suffice. She likes sucking on tags, soft toys, and teething toys. She will almost always roll to her belly when she’s laid down to play, and she can now push up high on her arms (push-up style). She also is starting to push her bottom up by bringing her knees under her. It’s a small step towards crawling, which is exciting. Abigail cannot sit up on her own yet, but she’s getting close. She can roll easily from back to belly and vice versa. She actually can move pretty far just by rolling and wiggling.

Generally, she’s very smiley, giggly, and a content observer. She laughs at people when they burp or blow raspberries, and she still finds peek-a-boo hilarious. Cody likes to snuggle her and try to make her laugh.

This month we will offer her some solid food for the first time. She seems interested in our food when we eat, so we’ll see what happens. We’re going to start off with some simple pureed baby food and baby cereals mixed with breastmilk. I’m excited to see how she does.

My sweet baby girl is growing so fast. I love this stage!

Happy 4 Months Birthday, Abigail!

Abigail is now four months old! How the time is flying… 🙁

She weighs 16.2 lbs, and is still wearing her 3-6 month size clothes, but I am planning to move her up to 6-9 months soon because her pants are all pretty tight and short. She still has beautiful blue eyes. She hasn’t grown any more hair since being born, and in fact she has lost some! She has a little bald patch on the back of her head, which is common for babies with hair.

She does not sleep through the night anymore, even though she did for a short time when she was younger. Now she wakes up about three to four times per night to nurse. She’s also become a pretty wiggly sleeper, which is somewhat annoying, but I wouldn’t give up snuggling with her at night for anything! She loves to sleep on her belly, and will almost always roll over to that position while sleeping, if she fell asleep on her back. She still loves sucking her thumb, and sometimes her whole hand.

She isn’t on a nap schedule yet, but she tends to take one or two long naps each day (a couple of hours), along with several more short ones (10 to 20 minutes).

She’s becoming more aware of her surroundings and showing interest in grabbing objects she sees. She’s a notorious hair-and-skin-grabber. She wants to be held a lot more often now, but she still has times where she’s content to just sit in her bouncy seat or lay in her playpen or on her playmat. She can really bounce herself in that bouncy seat, and seems to love it! She is generally content, easy to please, and easy to make smile and giggle. She giggles the most at Cody. He can make her laugh by doing nothing at all, just looking at her or sometimes just making a silly noise. They seem to love each other very much, which is the sweetest thing ever.

At four months, Abigail is able to roll over onto her belly, though she never rolls back. Whether that’s because she doesn’t want to or hasn’t figured it out yet is uncertain. She’s more stable when we hold her in a supported sitting position or a standing position, but she still has a ways to go until she’ll be sitting up on her own.

She’s a great nurser still, of course, and I suspect she might be a better food-eater than Cody was when the time comes because she always seems to stare at our food. But we’ll see! So far she doesn’t have any of her teeth yet, but she seems to be teething still on and off. Right now, we’re battling a diaper rash, an issue we never had with Cody. It’s funny how different these two are!

So that’s pretty much it. Not much has changed with her in the last month, but she’s still growing steadily and she’s a happy, healthy girl.

Happy 3 Months Birthday, Abigail!

On Monday, Abigail turned three months old. Here’s what’s new with her in the past month:

Abigail now weighs 15 lbs. She is still wearing 3-6 month size clothing. She nurses more frequently now, I suspect due to teething pain. For several weeks, she was sleeping through the night, but recently has been waking up two times per night to nurse. I discovered that she sleeps better when she has her own bed, so I moved myself out of the twin bed we were sharing, and I’ve been sleeping with Cory and Cody in our king bed instead (the beds are pushed up next to each other, so she’s still close by).

She doesn’t have a nap schedule yet, but she takes one to three long naps during the day. On bad teething days, her naps are short and she mostly wants to sleep while nursing. In general, she has a lot of awake time now, and spends it contently laying in her playpen, sitting in her high chair or floor seat, laying on her playmat or on the couch next to us, or of course being held. She prefers to be held facing out, just like Cody did, and we wear her facing out in the ergobaby carrier frequently.

We haven’t tried giving her a bottle since she was a newborn, but she never really took to it then. The same goes for pacifiers. She loves to suck on her thumb, or sometimes her other fingers or her whole hand.

She cries more often now, but usually only when she wants to be held or nursed. Rarely, we are unable to calm her for a few minutes, but generally she’s easy to calm. When teething isn’t bothering her, she’s a very content and happy girl. She smiles often and giggles at us, Cody, and the dogs. She loves peek-a-boo, and when Cody “plays” with her. Speaking of which, Cody is so great with her! He’s very sweet and loves to give her attention. Abigail is very vocal and makes a lot of cooing noises when she’s happy. Oh, and she loves music!

Abigail can hold her head up very high and seemingly indefinitely while on her tummy. She props herself up on her elbows a bit, too. She is able to roll from her back to her tummy now, but hasn’t quite figured out how to get her arm out from under her. She is able to wiggle around enough to rotate 180 degrees or more while on her back.

I would consider her to be an easy baby still, though teething has made her more “normal” in terms of being more demanding. Because we decided to get a puppy last week, this is fairly bad timing, and day-to-day life is less peaceful than it was. Still, puppyhood doesn’t last forever and neither does teething! And most days, there are still several of peaceful times when baby and puppy are both sleeping (like right now, allowing me to write this post!)


 

Happy Two Months Birthday, Abigail!

On Saturday, Abigail turned two months old. It has really flown by even faster this time around! That’s probably because Cody is still keeping me busy. 😉

Abby has been an easy baby so far. She sleeps a lot, and in long stretches. I would estimate she sleeps about 14-16 hours per 24 hour period. At night, she wakes about two times to nurse, and usually a couple of other times just to wiggle around for a few minutes. Getting her to sleep at bedtime has been easy lately; I nurse her in our rocking chair, then bring her into bed and turn on the white noise and nurse her some more if she wants. She’s fallen asleep like that with no problems for the past few weeks.

Unlike Cody when he was a baby, she doesn’t nurse every time I offer. She tends to nurse less frequently than he did in general, and the sessions are also shorter. Still, she’s been gaining weight really well, and currently weighs just over 13 lbs, which is in the 90th percentile. She’s a chunker! In fact, she’s wearing size 3-6 month clothing now, as she grew out of her newborn and 0-3 month clothes very quickly.

Although she spends a lot of her time sleeping, she also has long periods of being awake and alert now. She is becoming quite vocal, and likes to have “cooing conversations” with us. She’s giggled a handful of times, but it’s still rare enough to be exciting when she does it. She smiles frequently, sometimes in reaction to people and other times for secret reasons only babies know.

As for crying, she doesn’t do much of it. She usually gives us many warnings before starting to cry. She will start “shouting” at us, with more frequent and louder noises, until we pick her up. The only times she cries are when we put her in her carseat, and the rare times when she’s truly upset because she wants to be held or nurse. She’s never cried for more than a minute, and usually it’s only for a few seconds. Of course, we spend a lot of time holding her and that helps keep her happy. But she’s also often content to lay in her playpen or her mat on the floor, or sit in her swing, for half an hour or so when we need to get things done.

Cory wears her in the ergobaby often, and she does well with that. She doesn’t like it when I wear her as much, I suspect because being so close to my chest makes her want to nurse. She often starts rooting around and getting fussy when I wear her, unless she’s really tired and falls asleep. But usually I can wear her to take Cody to the park and she’s content for a little while. Around the house, I typically prefer to just hold her and she seems to like that better.

Abigail took a bottle one time, but several other attempts have been rejected. She hasn’t taken to a pacifier either, though we haven’t tried very hard with that. She likes to suck on her hand, so a pacifier seems unnecessary.

She can now hold her head up, and she can push up a bit on her arms when she’s on her tummy. She’s close to rolling, but hasn’t quite gotten there yet. She will use her legs to stand now when we hold her upright, but she still needs a lot of support because she’s pretty floppy.

Cody has done wonderfully with her so far, and the transition has been very smooth. He is great at being gentle with her, and he likes to stroke her arms and head and tell me that he loves her. It’s super sweet! He’s a good big brother. 🙂

That’s about it! Life with two littles has been more challenging, but so far it’s not as hard as I thought. Probably because Abby is such an easy baby! Either way, we’re blessed.

Abigail’s Birth Story

Disclaimer: This is a birth story. It contains details about the birth process and my personal experience, which some people may not be comfortable reading. If this is you, please don’t read it! Otherwise, continue. 🙂

My birthing with Abigail was quite a journey. I expected to have her early, but ended up giving birth at exactly 41 weeks of pregnancy, longer than I went with Cody. The time I spent waiting at the end was very difficult emotionally, and as irrational as it was, I truly felt at times that I’d never have her. Of course, I did have her in God’s timing. Now that she’s here I am overjoyed!

Abigail MarlyAnne Westropp was born on Labor Day, Monday, September 4th, 2017 at 3:16 PM. She was born at home, completely unmedicated. She weighed 7 lbs and 12 oz and was 20 ¼ inches long at birth. Here is how it all happened.

When I was 36 weeks pregnant, I began to experience more frequent warm up pressure waves than I’d previously been having. I also passed a small amount of blood, which seemed to be the beginning of my bloody show. Over the next several weeks, I continued to experience more warm up waves, with some periods of prodromal waves. There were many times I thought my birthing time was beginning, but they all were false alarms. At 38 weeks, I began trying many natural methods of encouraging birthing to begin. I tried walking, sex, certain foods, and hypnosis. At 40 weeks, I began trying some more aggressive natural methods of induction, including nipple stimulation and acupressure.

Finally at 40 weeks and 5 days, on September 2nd, I tried the most aggressive option so far and had my midwife sweep my membranes, which led to my full bloody show. That night, I had a good pressure wave pattern for several hours, and was very hopeful, but then it faded. The next afternoon, I had an appointment with my doula to try more natural induction techniques. I was optimistic, since she’s never had a client who this appointment didn’t work for. We tried many things, but after over 5 hours, we still had not established a good pressure wave pattern, and we decided to call it a night. My doula, Lynsey, left my house around 10:30 PM, and I went to bed with my hypnosis track playing as usual. I felt discouraged and resigned when I went to bed.

At about 1 AM that night, on September 4th, I woke up because of strong waves I was feeling. I began timing them, while listening to a hypnosis track. They continued to be strong, about 40 seconds to a minute long, and between 3 to 7 minutes apart. After an hour, I called my midwife, Alicia, and we decided it was time for her to come over. She arrived around 3 AM, and I continued to listen to my hypnosis tracks and mellow worship music while using my hypnosis tools.

I’d already woken up Cory around 2 to tell him what was going on, and encouraged him to get more sleep. By 4, I was ready for him to start actively supporting me, so I woke him up. I also called Lynsey at this time. Shortly after, I decided that I wanted to move to the bedroom and start using my birth pool, so we tried to move our sleeping son Cody to the guest bedroom. He woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep, so we called Cory’s mom, Marsha, to come take care of him. While she drove out, we set up the birth pool and I had some time with Cody in the pool. He helped me decorate the pool with submersible orange lights, which I’d chosen to help me envision my Hypnobabies’ orange hypno-anesthesia.

Around 6 AM, Marsha arrived. Although the timing is a blur, I know I spent this active birthing time moving between my pool, the bed, and my chair, while remaining in hypnosis and listening to my tracks out loud, and hearing birth prompts from Cory. At some point, my midwife’s assistant arrived, another midwife I’d met years ago named Jennifer. The midwives offered gentle support and otherwise rested and stayed unobtrusive. Cody was happy and busy with Marsha, and Cory stayed with me almost constantly. I started to have more bloody show during that time.

Around 10 AM, Alicia offered to check my dilation, and I agreed. Lynsey arrived while that was happening. To my great surprise and joy, Alicia said she couldn’t feel any cervix– meaning, I was completely dilated and effaced. I cried happy tears and hugged Cory and Lynsey, because I knew then that Abigail would be coming soon.

Alicia was able to feel that baby was asynclitic, and not quite fully engaged as a result, so we tried some belly sifting. From that point on, I spent time resting between waves on the couch or bed, and trying different positions in the pool. My support team kept me constantly hydrated, nourished me with light snacks, and reminded me to use the bathroom. Of course, they also kept hypnosis tracks playing for me and read birth prompts.

My pressure waves throughout this entire time were strong, and close together. I began to feel some exhaustion after the first few hours, and then began feeling a lot of back discomfort. Hours after being completely dilated, I still had not started to feel any pushing urges, and my emotional state started to struggle to remain peaceful. I began thinking that I couldn’t go on much longer.

Finally at about 2 PM, I broke down. Sitting in my pool, I told my team I couldn’t do it anymore, in tears. They rallied around me. They told me I was doing it, and they were going to help me. They told me it was time to start pushing and get the baby out. I said it hurt too much, and they told me I could do it, and to use my hypnosis. Finally, their encouragement broke through and I felt a sense of resolve, that I could do it and I would. I told Jesus that I needed his help.

On the next wave, I started pushing. At first, it increased the discomfort to be almost unbearable, but after just a second, it lifted. I took as deep of breaths as I could and then pushed while making loud, low, opening sounds. Sometimes I became very loud! Then I tried pushing after taking a deep breath, using the breath to bear down, and pushing several times during each wave. My lower back was in pain during my waves now, so Lynsey massaged it while I pushed. In between waves, I rested and took deep breaths, breathing oxygen to baby while my midwives monitored her heart rate. I moved between several different positions for pushing. Sometimes I squatted and leaned back against the wall of the pool. Other times I leaned forward on the pool wall, or simply went on hands and knees. I also tried Lynsey’s suggestion of squatting and pulling hard on a rebozo (scarf) that Cory held. I stayed in the pool the whole time. Cody and Marsha came in at some point to witness the process.

I pushed for a little over an hour, before I started crowning. I reached down and felt baby’s soft head and her silky hair. My midwives guided me to push more gently at this point, to allow myself to stretch naturally, and I did. I felt some burning, but it didn’t hurt. I told myself to stretch, and I did. Baby’s head came out into my hand, and I held her head, waiting for the rest of her to slip out. After what felt like only a few moments, but was apparently six minutes, suddenly there was some urgency I was vaguely aware of.

Everything snapped into motion as Alicia said she wanted me out of the pool, now, and my team basically lifted and dragged me out, straight to the bed on my hands and knees. Cory told me everything was fine. I was told to stop pushing. In my head, I had one thought, that Abigail needed to be okay. I was maneuvered into a runner’s squat position, and my midwives were doing things I wasn’t aware of, trying to ease baby out. There was no pain, just waiting, until finally they told me to push as hard as I could. I did and Abigail was born, finally, and I flipped onto my back and held her on my chest. She didn’t cry right away, and I rubbed her gently and talked to her until finally, she let out her first tiny cry. Her cord was short, so I couldn’t move her much, but I held her and kissed her warm wet head. She started looking for the breast quickly, and with just a little guidance she latched on like a pro.

Later, I learned that Abigail was having a hard time coming out because she had her hands up under her chin. The midwives had to reach in and push her hands down to allow her to come out. Although that may sound painful, I didn’t feel it. Through all of that, I only had a small tear that barely required two stitches. Although her birth was somewhat traumatic, both she and I came through it easily, thanks to my incredible and competent birth team.

After Abigail was born, we waited a short time for my placenta to be born. Unfortunately, I started to hemorrhage both before and after birthing the placenta, meaning I was bleeding too much. My midwives gave me a shot of pitocin and massaged my uterus, all with me still in hypnosis and using my tools for comfort. I continued to nurse Abigail, which is helpful for controlling bleeding after birth. After a few minutes, my bleeding had slowed but not completely stopped, so I was given another shot of pitocin. Finally, the bleeding stopped, and we rested.

After that final drama, things were calm. Abigail had her newborn exam next to me while Jennifer cleaned me up. Then we nursed some more, and Cory and I were left alone to bond with baby while the house was cleaned up a bit. Cody met his baby sister, a fascinating and strange creature to him. I cried happy tears again, thanking God for our daughter and sitting in awe of how lucky we are to have two beautiful children. Cory held Abigail and we took some photos.

After a little while, we decided it was time to cut the cord. It was still attaching Abigail to the placenta, which was lying wrapped up nearby. We were happy that we’d allowed every possible drop of blood to flow into baby before cutting the cord, but we were ready to have more mobility for Cory to hold her. He clamped and cut the cord himself. Later, I was stitched up while happily nursing Abby, and she got her vitamin K shot while still nursing. She let go to cry a two-second protest before going back to the breast.

After all was settled, my birth team said goodbye and left. I nestled happily in my bed with my baby girl, and my husband and son close by. Could there be anything better?

There are so many things I’m thankful for, looking back at this experience. First and foremost, a happy and healthy baby and mama, which is always the main goal. I’m also thankful for my midwives, who knew exactly what to do in a potentially scary situation. They saved our lives, really. I’m thankful for my doula, who supported me so well both physically and emotionally. She also managed to take photos and videos throughout my entire birthing process, which I can now treasure forever. My amazing husband and birth partner, Cory, was a superhero. He pushed himself physically to support me through his own exhaustion. He stayed calm always, told me frequently how I was doing such a great job, gave me hypnosis cues, and stayed by my side throughout the birth of our child. All together, my team was a formidable force. They held me up in so many ways when I was sure I could not do it. With them, I could. I’m thankful for Hypnobabies, without which I can only imagine the difficulty I would have had giving birth. Some women have easy births, but I apparently do not. And I did not have a painless birth, either, but with Hypnobabies, I was able to have a more easy and comfortable experience, and succeed in my dream of having a natural birth at home.

Most of all, I’m thankful to God. He kept me and Abigail safe. Jesus held me during the hardest parts of my birthing, and without his presence I can’t imagine how I would have coped. He is my savior, not only for eternity, but for my life right now. He enabled me with strength I would not have had on my own. And he blessed me and Cory with such an unbelievable gift, our precious baby girl, not to mention our son almost three years ago. We are so very blessed, for God is good.

I am so very relieved, proud, and satisfied with my birth experience. Knowing that I did this makes me feel empowered to do anything. I feel very lucky to have experienced both a happy hospital birth with Cody and now a completely natural home birth with Abigail. It’s wonderful experience to have as a birth educator as well! How very blessed I’ve been. <3

Welcome to the world, little Abigail. You are so very precious.

The {Bedtime} Struggle Is Real

bedtime-struggle

I’ve mentioned many times that my family is a co-sleeping one. We love sharing our bed with our precious son, and couldn’t imagine sleeping in a separate room from him. Those snuggles, special memories, and the closeness and security we all feel being together are priceless. There are moments we’ve been able to enjoy that would never have happened if we weren’t co-sleepers, like hearing Cody’s first laugh, in his sleep in the middle of the night when he was two months old. Being pat gently on the face and greeted, “hi mama,” first thing in the morning is another thing I treasure.

Plus, when you’re breastfeeding on-demand with a high-need baby, co-sleeping is really the only way to go. Rolling over to nurse and falling back asleep is so much better than trudging down the hall, nursing in a chair, re-settling the baby in the crib, and then dragging yourself back to bed. Co-sleeping has allowed me to be an active nighttime parent without sacrificing sleep any more than necessary. And even though my sleep has been interrupted every night for more than the past two years, it has still been adequate and I have never felt sleep-deprived. It may not be for everyone, but co-sleeping is definitely for us!

Yet one thing I have sometimes felt misled about when it comes to co-sleeping is the idea that doing so will lessen bedtime battles and bedtime anxiety. The idea is that since your child knows you will be with them throughout the night, they don’t fight bedtime as much as other kids who are dreading the long period of separation. Yet for us, bedtime has been an increasingly challenging routine.

It started with Cody occasionally having a hard time falling asleep, or seeming “wired” at bedtime. Then it became a common situation to spend up to an hour trying to put him to sleep. As attachment parents, we don’t believe in sleep training, and we have always helped Cody go to sleep by nursing, rocking, and snuggling in bed. But we came to a point where none of that was working. We’d already been using white noise, blackout curtains, and a consistent bedtime routine. We started eliminating any screen time within a couple of hours of bedtime. We tried putting him to bed earlier, or later, or at a more consistent time. Nothing seemed to help! Finally, we tried giving him a very small dose of melatonin on nights when he was taking over 30 minutes to fall asleep. When that became almost every night for about two weeks, we finally decided that something had to change. We were not comfortable relying on drugs to get him to sleep!

I did some research, weeded through the sleep-training sales pitches, and finally came across an article written by a fellow attachment parent and co-sleeper, describing exactly my problem. The solution was simple, but kind of sucked: making your bedtime the same as your child’s. At first I was resistant. Cory and I have really enjoyed our hour or two of alone time to relax together at night. We also often used some of that time to catch up on chores. Losing it was not an appealing idea. Yet as I read this article, I realized the truth of the matter, which was that many nights we weren’t getting that time anymore anyway. At this point, we were spending an hour or more putting Cody to bed, and then pushing our bedtime out further and further just to have 45 minutes or less of time to ourselves. It was inefficient, stressful, and pointless.

We knew that we had two realistic choices. We could sleep train our toddler, going against our instincts as parents and undermining the strong attachment and sense of security we have built with Cody since his birth. Or, we could make another sacrifice on this parenting journey, and start going to sleep with him to put an end to his bedtime anxiety.

Attachment parenting is many things, but easy and convenient are not the words I would use. And you know what? That’s okay. Parenting shouldn’t be easy or convenient. Parenting should be about sacrifice. It’s about giving everything you have and are to raise your children to be the best they can be. It’s not always fun, and it’s not always comfortable. But boy, is it worth it. That love… it’s like nothing else.

So we followed the way of love, and gave up our alone time to help Cody have a better bedtime. It has been so much easier already. The bonus is that even though we don’t have that alone time, we do get more sleep, which I desperately need now that I’m pregnant. Plus, Cory can get up earlier in the morning and have time to himself for working on his personal projects, which works out really well considering the morning is his most productive time of day. I still get my alone time every day during his nap, which has been really good for a long time! I think it’s interesting that he has no issues going down for naps (except on the days when he randomly decides to skip it), but bedtime has been so difficult. This kid likes to keep things interesting!

Anyway, Cory and I still have time alone on the weekends during Cody’s naps, and we allow ourselves TV time in the evening even with Cody around. He’s going to be a very “cultured” child, you could say. 😉 There may be a time when we decide that “adult” TV isn’t appropriate for him, but for now, we’re okay with him being exposed to the stuff we watch. We tend to be fairly protective over what images and words and themes go into our minds anyway. But that’s a topic for another post.

As far as bedtime goes, it has been stress-free since we made the change. He still doesn’t go to sleep very quickly yet, but at least now we’re using that time to fall asleep ourselves, rather than laying awake and waiting for him to fall asleep. And I can say one thing for sure; I have been enjoying the extra sleep for myself.